Booker Blogs

Tis the beginning of a new era???

I can finally get into SOMETHING sold in an immensely popular-with-young-women fashion outlet that is known by 3 letters, and also associates itself with a local fruit used in lassi …. I can’t believe it. When I tried it on, I wasn’t even sure what size I am now. Sure it’s their LARGEST-salesgirls-give-you-the-once-over size but WHO CARES!!!!!!!! IS this the beginning of a new era??!?!?!? Is it now possible for me to get clothes OTHER than places that carry plus sizes??!?!?!

Thought about it last night…after I walked into said fashion outlet (it was on sale, huge fuchsia 3-D cut outs splashing 70% in their windows) with Rosie and Yin. Yin told me about some fantastic jeans at a bargain and I looked around (usual bored look on my face… for in my mind NOTHING fitted me in that store created by skinny people for skinny people…) until the price tag caught my eye….wow…. not baaaad… for a pair of jeans…. And then Rosie passed me a pair. I held them up… ok.. sure they looked smaller than my usual pair of jeans… which is now held up by a belt, failing which it will fall off… and I thought.. hmmm…. Could it be????? Immediate natural reflex question… “Is this the largest size?”… when you’re a big girl, some questions just roll off your tongue more naturally than “Extra fries please”….so in I went and tried them on. And would you believe it?!!?! They FIT!!! So WHAT if my gut’s hanging out from the top of the jeans, enough to cast a shadow over my toes… and so WHAT if part of my butt’s sticking out too???? I’ll just get one of them “wide load” stickers…. THEY FIT!!!!!!!!!!!

For the first time in my life….I, Booker, bought something from what I have always thought as an overpriced,  skinny people fashion outlet. It was a pair of jeans, from the massive discount bin where stuff are just flung into haphazardly, where you practically have to do a 5 meter board dive to get to the good stuff…. But hey…I bought something!!!!!!!!! Did I mention that THEY FIT!!!!!!!!!?!! And more importantly…. They WERE on sale…..

So last night I thought about whether it WAS the beginning of a new era…. long and hard…. ok… not really…. It really only took me 3 minutes…. Cause that’s about the amount of time it took for me to take a deep breath, zip the jeans up, walk C3P-O style across the room to the mirror, see my gut… hello….turn around and greet my butt….. and still this wasn’t enough… for I was still convincing myself that … “Ok what!” {2 mins and 59 seconds had lapsed} but what happened in the last 1 second did it for me…I walked away from the mirror, and sat down in exhaustion on the bed..[hey, you try holding your breath for that long a period… it’s damn blardy TIRING!] …. So I plonked myself down on the bed……AND IMMEDIATELY SAT UP STRAIGHT!!!!! Cause the moment I sat down, my jeans rode down so low, the room was illuminated by skin that has NEVER seen the light of day before…… yagetwhatimean!!?!?!?!!!!…. haiyoh….

So yeah after thinking about it last night…. Hahaha… I think  “Nah…. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!!???!?!?!?!!??!” So it’ll still be my usual jeans, belt and all…. At least I’ll be comfortable… and errrr… it’ll do the job of keeping my nether regions well hidden!!!!!

Perhaps it was the full moon, or perhaps it was because I had not done it for the past 5 months, but last night, whatever it was that possessed me, I washed my car (what else!??!).

So yes, at 9.45pm, under the light of the pale orange full moon, I washed my car. Or shall I say, I gave my car a bath, for I really couldn’t make out if I had missed a spot, or two, or more….

And I would be so damn proud of myself in any usual circumstance, but last night, circumstances were far from usual… Perhaps, as I said, it was the full moon, I don’t know… but as I was giving my car a bath, I could feel Patchee’s eyes watching me, my every move… and this time, his usual loyal and unconditional devoted look was replaced by an accusatory one…and I couldn’t understand why…. till after I had finished the car bath.

As I was rinsing out the usual car washing equipment, crouched down by the tap in the front porch, Patchee, completely ignoring my presence, walked from the front porch towards the car (and I know this sounds bizarre) maybe it was the way he walked, but he made his way towards the car in what I can only describe as silent irritation. He inspected the car, looked hopelessly at the wet surroundings, sniffed at the car once, and walked noiselessly back to the front porch, again, completely ignoring me, whom he had to walk pass twice and would usually come close to for a friendly nuzzle.

But last night, he walked past me… and paused as he reached the front porch about 2 feet away from me, turned around to gaze at the car, and standing at his full height, holding his head up high, he turned and looked me dead in the eye. I was still crouched down, and eye to eye level, I had never seen Patchee look so regal before. And it was at that moment, I understood completely, his quiet displeasure at me.

For at that moment, as we made direct eye contact, I understood… and my gaze changed from curious wonder at his unusual behaviour to one of understanding and to one of apology, and his, from regal displeasure to one of silent reprimand to one of acceptance.

In washing my car so late at night, I had breached an unspoken understanding that my car (which he prefers over my mom’s) when retired for the night, we HIS domain. It was the one place in his little universe that belonged to him and him alone… no one else, not even  Prince had access to the roof of my car. By his gaze last night, he let me know that my car was not only his sentry point or his bed at night, but also the throne to his kingdom. And by the thoughtless act of washing my car so late last night, I had trespassed his territory, desecrated the throne to his kingdom, and worse, violated a space that he had with every scratch and every paw print made his own.

So yeah, I washed my car last night, and am sorry I was so thoughtless doing so.