Booker Blogs

Patchee…

My dogs special… no, it’s not what the policitcally correct amongst us would call mentally challenged.. neither is he the other end of the spectrum… no ribbon winning champion either this fella….

You see, my dog, my Patchee is special cause he takes his sentry duties very very seriously. I mean yes, other dogs do too but….other dogs simply rush right up to the gate, stick their head through the grilles and bark their lungs out…

My dog doesn’t… Don’t get me wrong, he has a menacing and fear inducing bark, that’s for sure but he doesn’t rush to the gate… no… that’s so… unglamorous…. My dog, my Patchee, guards the house from an elevated vantage point…. No, we don’t tie him up in the balcony or anything… nah… too much trouble….

Patchee, through NO training or intervention on our part of ANY kind, had taken it upon himself, as soon as he was big enough, to take sentry duty from atop the roof of either of the cars at home… yeah… so depending on whether he’s in the mood for metallic maroon or matte white (and they say dogs are colour blind….bah!). You can see him relaxing on TOP of the roof or either car at home on any given night…. And if you’re a strange face, get ready to be greeted by some really menacing barks from dear dear ole Patchee, hairs standing on his 14 year old back, standing tall, barking his old heart out….

But please… don’t look too closely, he’s a proud one this one…. I don’t want you noticing how his teeth have started falling out due to old age, how his hind legs are not as strong as they used to be, how his tail wagging is not as vigorous as it used to be… but he’s a darling… and after all these years, I’ve figured out why he does it… why he takes the effort to climb on the cars every single night, calmly lying on his belly keeping watch, when a cool spot in the garden or porch will be much much more comfortable… he does it out of fierce loyalty, unconditional love and pure devotion…. And okay…. This too… only…. I have to whisper this… *hush hush voice* Patchee isn’t exactly a big dog… and he isn’t the tallest either…. So I guess to make up for that…. he found his OWN way to make himself a little larger than life… but…. If I spoke dog tongue, I could have told him years ago… he didn’t have to… I love him all the same… this one’s for u old boy… keep up the good work, and double doggie biscuits for you tonite!!!!

2 weeks ago I started my car just as I do every weekday morning.

Oh my car started, that it did… but it also made sure that half the kampong knew that it was running!!!!!!!!

For the first 6 seconds…. the engine sounded like a grumpy 8 year old who REFUSED to get out of bed… so it grunted a little and pouted a lot….and then it started…. A noise like nails scratched over blackboards… so loud I could hear it from inside the car with my radio blasting….. aiyoh….. so being someone who believes in proper car maintenance, I did the responsible thing… I turned up the radio a little more and drove to work…. WHAT??!? Not like the engine fell out or anything!!!! And it was a nice song…..

Well anyway, the sound DIDN’T go away like I was hoping it would..… for about 2 weeks I endured the sound…… and then someone started telling me about not ignoring funny sounds coming from the car… ESPECIALLY if it comes from under the bonnet…ok…so she scared me with talk of the car stalling and dying in the middle of the road… and what REALLY freaked me out was when she started talking numbers!!!!!! As in… how a significant part of my paltry life savings will be handed over to my mechanic if I ignored these funny sounds any longer….

So vivid pictures of the car engine choking and keeling over in agony and even MORE vivid pictures of me being significantly poorer flashing through my head, I drove my car to the workshop yesterday, fervently praying the entire journey that my car doesn’t spontaneously combust cause, you know, I have this wedding to go to in May…

Well anyway, I reached the mechanics without the engine dying or doing a flambé on me and got out of the car, perplexed helpless look perfectly cued to meet the foreman’s welcoming smile (I could see the $$ sign ka-ching-ing in place of his eyes there and then…) and went up to him and said… “There’s a sound coming from my car!”. With a slight pout and a very precisely calculated point of my finger to the general direction of the car bonnet later, he was under the hood, ear an inch away from the engine, listening  Cherokee style for the source of the irritating sound.

In all of 2 seconds, he killed the engine, prodded, re-started the engine and like magic, the sound disappeared….

“No grease miss”… to which he stuck out his grease dipped index finger to me to prove the point….

Sigh… it cost me all of 3 minutes of feeling like a bimbonic dumbass… but hey… my car didn’t die AND the sound’s gone… So people…. All is good in Bookerland… all is good… J

The most exciting thing to happen to me lately was PY’s wedding last week.

Of course it all started months ago…innocently over instant messaging…

“The hotel liason person suggested someone to be the main wedding co-ordinator, HS and I looked at each other and both said “Booker?” Hahahahahaha!”

That’s how she broke the news to me several months ago.

I felt so honoured. I immediately said yes with grace, humility and gratitude…. for everyone knows it’s a girl’s lifetime dream to have a beautiful and memorable wedding…

So the fact that she had asked ME to do it meant A LOT!!!! (PY sweetcakes, it’s really such an honour, and is unbelievably flattering that you trust so much in me to let me have free reign of one of the most important days of your life).

That was a few months ago. The wedding was last week.

In that few months, I have gone through a myriad of emotions, from overwhelmingly flattered, to supreme confidence, to extreme frustration to over the moon happiness!!!

At first, things were easy, so in a typical Malaysian lepak fashion, nothing was planned, just thoughts in my head being tossed about. Things really only started kicking into action about a month before the wedding….

Things went great. From a small wedding committee of 4, the committee grew to a dozen or so people. Everyone knew what they had to do and simple took over the whatever needed to be done.

Hahaha thinking of it now, there were so many panic inducing, heart stopping, claws out situations leading up to the wedding, it’ll take me forever to state them all…. (but with hindsight, I was a little dramatic in handling some of them hahahaha….they seem funny now, I’m sure it wasn’t very funny then!) so I’ll blog about a couple that really got to me…

Booker almost loses it situation # 1

2 weeks to the wedding, the committee (meaning me in my psycho bitchiness best) decided what the all important walk in song would be… we knew the bride didn’t want anything soppy, so Eric, Rosie and I were throwing songs around, and finally decided on “At the Beginning” by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis. It was upbeat, built up nicely to a crescendo, the lyrics were really meaningful and it was a song people were familiar with, and yet not overdone. PERFECT!!!!

That is… until about 10 days before the wedding, sweaty, smelly and fresh from badminton, we were all having steamboat to award ourselves for playing 7 mins of badminton and gossiping the rest of the 2 hours…. She says this…

HS and PY, heads bent towards each other, furiously whispering to each other for 8.5 seconds…. Then she looks up at me, catches my eye and starts smiling sweetly…

Booker

(in my head)      :           OH NO! this can NOT be good…..shall I look

                                   away now???!!?

PY                   :           Booker! HS and I have a special request!!!

Booker

(in my head)      :           *GULP*

                                    Instinctively I knew what it was going to

                                    be… my heart sank to my smelly socked 

                                    feet….Thinking …. DAMN! We JUST sorted out

                                    the walk in song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PY                   :           *Still smiling sweetly*

                                    HS & I want YOU to sing us the walk in song!!!

                                    *Happy self contented smile on face*

                                    *HS also looking at me, smiling*

Booker             :           NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!<span face=”                  40 tables = 400 people!!!!!!!!!!!!!                                     Budden….. Aiyoh! Those sweethearts!                                     What an honour!!!!!!!!!! *I wanted to cry… but

                                    of course, had to be composed, and look oh so

                                    unfazed about it*                                     And I’ll be honest, man was I flattered or

                                    WHAT!!!!

Booker

(out loud)          :           Hahahaha! I knew it!                                     SURE! No problem!!!!

Booker

(in my head)      :           *Outwardly smiling while pretending to fish out

                                   some meatballs*

                                   oh MAN!!!!!!!!!!! How la like that!!?!?!?!?!?  I

                                   can only sing  break up songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

                                   “Insensitive” being my ultimate favourite!!!! 

                                   And (%*&%(*^%^&*(*^%^& “At the beginning” 

                                   was PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But, 2 very last minute karaoke sessions and a lot of convincing from some dear dear friends later, it was settled. The walk in song would be “At the beginning”. I’d sing both the girl’s and guy’s parts…. Just have to add here that  Johnson suggested that I dressed my left half as a guy and my right half as a girl and start flipping from left to right when I was singing either part… IDIOT!!!!

Booker DOES lose it situation # 2

So it’s THE DAY!!!!… the morning events went by. Plenty of laughs, the boys were a sport, so 8 rounds of food, 100 rounds of tea and several ang pows later, I make my way to the hotel.

Eric, Suaran and I planned to meet in the ballroom at 2pmfor sound checks etc… of course, the whole world was running late, there was the whole mixed up booking number thing… so I decided to forget going to the room, and go the ballroom instead…I get to the ballroom, it was almost 3pm….a mere 3 hours to the wedding…. I walk in, they were doing finishing touches here and there… putting up flower stands etc…hmmm nice chandelier… love the yards and yards of gold material over the chandeliers…. SUCH A CUTE BACKDROP!!!!!! It was so fitting for PY & HS…. then I look around… hmmm….*frown*….. HMMMMMM…… (*deeper frown*)

THEN IT HIT ME…. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! the place looks TOO DAMN WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Precisely like the photo in the hotel’s promotional brochure which PY specifically said that she HATED…. (with a lot of spunk too!!!!)…The theme was “Peach and Gold”… definitely!!!! And I didn’t see no peach in the ballroom!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, they wouldn’t have changed the theme without MENTIONING anything me right??!?!?!?!?!??

Ok Booker…. don’t panic….

So I calmly ask the nice staff of foreign descent about the ivory table cloth. Why not peach? He showed me their internal checklist. It read :-

"Table cloth : IVORY & GOLD table runner"

I ask for the manager….

20 mins later, he shows up… I asked him very nicely (still had my wits about me) to show me the couple’s confirmation of change of theme colour from peach and gold to ivory and gold.

He couldn’t. Instead he called Devaki (who was the main liason officer who confirmed all the couples’ instructions). Good I thought…. someone who can clarify this once and for all….

2 seconds later, he comes to me to say that Devaki’s handphone was switched off….

Oh JOY!!!!!!!!!

Still refusing to panic, I bid him to please, try again…. (teeth gritted, making every effort to control my breathing).

By this time, Suaran had arrived and was doing his level best to zen me into not panicking… or turning into a psycho bitch!

(Suaran’s a sweet heart by the way, without him there, many heads would have rolled, and the theme colour for the night would have been a very memorable blood splattered and gold!!!!!!).

So the manager gets Devaki on the phone. I ask her nicely when exactly did PY & HS change the theme colour from peach & gold to ivory & gold??? (even managed to force a smile - sometimes I amaze myself)

Devaki :           ………… dead silence……….
                        Oh… i can’t recall… I’m not at work now blah blah

                        blah..

By this time I was ready to scream, yank all 40 table cloths off and let everything just break to a million bits of china…..BUT…. I calmly handed over the manager’s phone back to him… and decided… ok…. as much as I DIDNT wanna disturb the couple…. I had to…

So that’s when i called HS :-

Booker : Hi Handsome!!!!

HS       : Hi! Your booking number is ******* (I forgot, at that time, the
               booking number was the last thing on my mind!)

Booker : Oh! Uh thanks! Errr.. Handsome, is PY with you????

HS       : Yes… you wanna talk…

Booker : NO! ok… can you please walk away from PY so she doesn’t hear

             you???

HS       : Okaaaaaaaaay….
            (I could imagine his widened eyes, slight frown, looking to his
            upper right, then looking to his upper left expression)

Booker : (trying to sound casual…)

            

Hey, just to confirm, have u guys changed the theme colour? Is

             it still peach & gold??

HS       : Yes….

Booker : OK! thanks! that’s all i need to know… hee hee… and

             Handsome, pls dont let PY know that i asked you this…

HS       : Anything wrong?

Booker : Err… no… hee hee (so damn fake sounding) errr nothing that

            can’t be sorted out…. See you guys in a bit! DONT COME DOWN

            TILL AFTER 6.30pm!!!!!!!!

So I barge back into the hall, looked the manager in the eye and told him in the most controlled manner that I could muster, veins popping in my brain …..that the theme had NOT been changed. It was very much still peach & gold…

Suaran at this point in time had to almost restrain me… for fear of me being charged with murder… manslaughter….grievous bodily harm…

Manager I must say was fantastic. He nodded, whipped out his walkie talkie.. and barked "I want ALL the banqueting staff on hand in classics ballroom NOW! Get them from ALL the other ballrooms… I dont care if the rest are ready or not, get them here NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

10 mins later, an army of the hotel people showed up, all the cutlery, china so painstakingly laid out earlier went clinking and clanking into huge buckets, table cloths were changed, and everything was beautifully laid back on the tables… kudos to Mr Ooi Meng Liang… he had POWER man!!! and he rolled up his sleeves and laid tables too that day.. Yeay to the man!!!!

So all was good… all was good…

Then the balloons came in, and we had so much fun running around placing them, Soo Nee and Rosie and Siew Ling took charge of balloons and calligraphy cards and by the time we were done with sound checks, I looked up at the hall again and it looked simply DIVINE!!!! Romantic lighting from the giant chandeliers softened by the gold chiffon covering them, kissing the tops of the playful pink and white helium filled balloons gently dancing in the peach and gold themed ballroom….. beautifully calligraphed cards placed on each and every table, pink rose petals scattered around them…. and the vein popping and the teeth clenching and murderous thoughts earlier were worth it…… Good JOB everyone!!!!! *pat pat pat on backs (my own included hahahaaha)*

So that was that… PHEW!!!!!!!!!

The wedding turned out to be a really really happy one. The couple looked radiant, deeply in love and ridiculously happy… and that in itself made the night so special….

Especially for us at Table 13 at least. Everyone at our table had something to do. Which was fun. Whether it was photo taking or simply yelling YUM SENG!!!! Everyone felt involved, and that made the evening so much more enjoyable.

So thank you PY and HS! Thanks for the incredible honour, the complete trust in us, the chance for me to kick asses, the chance to turn psycho bitch and still have my friends talk to me after, the chance to show how much we all love you both and mostly, the chance to be part of the BESTEST wedding ever todate and for the PURE GOOD FUN and JOY it was simply being at your wedding.

Happiness always!!!!

XXXXxxxxOOoooooXXoooOXXxxxOOOoxoxxoxoxoxoxxo

*said Nacho Libre style*

It usually starts out as a phrase in my head.

And I build it up into a blog entry.

Today, there’s no phrase, no line, nothing.

Just the welcome peace and quiet of a lazy weekend…. Such bliss!!!!

After an immensely fun filled wedding last week where everything was planned to the minute, this weekend’s nothing planned seems like paradise.

So most of the Saturday’s gone, ½ hour to go, and happening socialite (not!) that I am, I’m at home, blogging. The tv downstairs’ blaring (as usual… doesn’t matter if my parents are watching something in Korean or Turkish, the tv will be blaring…) my poor neighbours….dinner dishes done, dogs are fed, car’s been brought in and the front gate locked….. I’ll blog about the bestest wedding EVER todate next time… rite now… sleep beckons…sleep…. sweet sleep…(the 2 vodka martinis I had earlier already taking effect)… g’nite guys….